If I were just a physical weakling,
I would have moral fibers in me:
I would never go out with those women
Not a gram of the booze I would drink!

And if I were a physical wonder, 
Then I would... Tantalizing to think!
I would drink every drink in abundance,
But I swear, not a move with those chicks!

But if I’m of the standard composure,
What to do? What’s for me in the store?
Well, I cannot exist being sober,
And the chicks I just cannot ignore!