In the far-away galaxy of Tau-Whale
Something freaky has been going on.
We send them a signal: What are you, nuts?
And they... They send us somewhere else...

On that Tau-Whale
Live in crowded quarters
And do it rather smoothly
Our fellow beings of high intellect.

And so, moving along the light ray
Not with the help of it, but by its means,
I fly to this Tau-Whale
To sort her out on the spot.

On that Tau-Whale
Things are deeply wrong -
The bloody fraternity of Tau-Whales
Has gone mad - in our view, of course.

While I lie in anabiosis -
Those Tau-Whales riot and rant
I don’t even talk to them anymore
Cause they get to be so rowdy...

Those Tau-Whales
Have few words in their alphabet.
They live in a bourgeois society
And their humor is awful, too.

I landed the ship like my own rear end,
Bending the reflector slightly.
I shouted in their lingo - "Viva!"
Which translates to a "Hello" in ours.

Those Tau-Whales’
Appearance is a bluff.
Can’t outscore them here.
They dissolve and reappear

A Tau-Whale to me is like a Neanderthal to you
I was given enough hints, you know..
"You embarrass the whole Universe", - I blew!
They blinked something at me, for an answer..

On this Tau-Whale
Living conditions are nothing like ours
There is no atmosphere, it’s stifling
But the Tau-Whales are hearty people...

Fusing, I shouted: to hell with you all!
But my cybernetic guide
Translated the words so literally
That I became a bit embarrassed.

But these Tau-Whales
Those dirty bastards
Had more than a good drink, I think..
They keep dissapearing and then reappearing

"Yo, my brothers", - I yell, - "the stronger sex,
What’s up with the..." But here my voice trailed
I seized a Tau-Whale by her delicate waist,
"Come on", - I say strictly, "Confess or else..."

But she goes: Buzz off..
We are, like, in front ranks,
And will have nothing to do with men -
For from now on we will get by with budding!

I really don’t remember the take-off,
And I fly, feeling lousy and in need of a drink -
The Earth was supposed to go ahead three centuries
According to that blasted theory of Einstein’s!

What if there,
Like on Tau-Whale
The knowledge has horribly risen.
What if it’s the budding season there, also?!