In the far-away galaxy of Tau-Whale Something freaky has been going on. We send them a signal: What are you, nuts? And they... They send us somewhere else... On that Tau-Whale Live in crowded quarters And do it rather smoothly Our fellow beings of high intellect. And so, moving along the light ray Not with the help of it, but by its means, I fly to this Tau-Whale To sort her out on the spot. On that Tau-Whale Things are deeply wrong - The bloody fraternity of Tau-Whales Has gone mad - in our view, of course. While I lie in anabiosis - Those Tau-Whales riot and rant I donít even talk to them anymore Cause they get to be so rowdy... Those Tau-Whales Have few words in their alphabet. They live in a bourgeois society And their humor is awful, too. I landed the ship like my own rear end, Bending the reflector slightly. I shouted in their lingo - "Viva!" Which translates to a "Hello" in ours. Those Tau-Whalesí Appearance is a bluff. Canít outscore them here. They dissolve and reappear A Tau-Whale to me is like a Neanderthal to you I was given enough hints, you know.. "You embarrass the whole Universe", - I blew! They blinked something at me, for an answer.. On this Tau-Whale Living conditions are nothing like ours There is no atmosphere, itís stifling But the Tau-Whales are hearty people... Fusing, I shouted: to hell with you all! But my cybernetic guide Translated the words so literally That I became a bit embarrassed. But these Tau-Whales Those dirty bastards Had more than a good drink, I think.. They keep dissapearing and then reappearing "Yo, my brothers", - I yell, - "the stronger sex, Whatís up with the..." But here my voice trailed I seized a Tau-Whale by her delicate waist, "Come on", - I say strictly, "Confess or else..." But she goes: Buzz off.. We are, like, in front ranks, And will have nothing to do with men - For from now on we will get by with budding! I really donít remember the take-off, And I fly, feeling lousy and in need of a drink - The Earth was supposed to go ahead three centuries According to that blasted theory of Einsteinís! What if there, Like on Tau-Whale The knowledge has horribly risen. What if itís the budding season there, also?!
© Nellie Tkach. Translation, 1998