Dear program! On this Saturday, nearly crying, At Kanatchikova dacha we all rushed for TV set. And instead of having breakfast, washing, dozing and some dreaming, All the madhouse came together at the hospitalís TV. Someone spoke being excited, he was sort of a chatterbox, about impotence of science before the mystery of Bermudas. He was very much determined, he was very much concerned, so the doctors of the dacha give us all the second shot. Dear editor! May you talk about a reactor, or our favorite moon tractor? We are ruined, what for more. We are frightened of the UFOs flying all above our heads, or the healers from Philippines torturing people with their hands We became the experts also and break plates throughout the year We know them inside out, if a cook does not tell lies. Pile of drugs are in the basin, if you are not a fool, of course, What a life! But now Bermudas! One canít do to us at once! We did not make any row, we were short of a real leader. Just a few are really crazy, so thereís no leaders at all. But for all intrigues and nonsense, we have a net and other catchers, And no enemy can ruin anything for us at all. These are their skinny devils make the troubles all around. This is what Sir Churchill thought many, many years ago. We have written a TASS note about the Berbudas nightmares, But the hospitalís attendants came up quickly to fix us. Those who were so much excited have been tied to their beds. One of our paranoiacs was much trembling like in orgy: "Undo towels, cruel monsters, you non Christians and fanatics. We have Bermudas on souls and Bermudas on our minds!" Tired from science a poor pupil told the nonsense all day long, He said triangle Bermudas is a teacher from his school. Even those who have been crazy, getting more and more upset, After that head doc Margulis prohibited to watch TV Here is he like a cruel serpent, hides a plug behind his back. Waves his hand to an assistant, itís a sign to pull wires out . All the floor is in hysterics. We need a dose to be forgotten And fall down in the bottom of Bermudas for the life But tomorrow our children will be going to ask: "Daddies, what were all those doctors saying? Can we trust those PhDs?" We will give a clear answer, weíll reveal the truth to them: "Wonder thing is nearly to you, but donít touch it! Never, please!" Here is Rudik, a home dentist, he has got a radio "Grundig", He is going to pick up German radio at a pond. He was sort of merchant there and became a little crazy, Heís come to us in weird excitement with a number on his leg. Rudik knocked us really down, he has something to tell us, That our scientific liner disappeared from radars, In the triangle Bermudas itís torn down into some parts, Fishermen picked up two brothers from that liner there at once. Those survived in cataclysm, exist now in pessimism, found yesterday in prism, treated them from diabolism. Having run away from nannies, a mechanic from that prism Said Bermuda polyhedron is an open hub of Earth. "What has happened, howíd you survive?" - everybody bothered him. He could only tremble worried asking somebody for stubs. He was crying, he was laughing, he was aggressive sometimes. He was kidding, simply crazy, simply mad, what to expect! A former rebel alcoholic burst out shouting and crying: "We should drink this trigon out. And to share it with three!" He kept saying: "We will drink it, fucked trigon will dry out, May it be parallelepiped, or a circle, let it off".                                 This may be a mad idea, donít tell it like it is! Our head doc should be punished, thus youíll help us do it, please. Yours sincerely. Date, signature. ...Answer us asap, and if... If you donít call us quickly, we will write to "Sportloto"
© Zlata Karlova. Translation, 2017