Greetings from Paris! Vanya, as I walk around here
The things I’ve found here, each sight and sound here,
I’m jotting down while my impressions haven’t faded -
Then I’ll bring out my humble memoirs when I’m aged.

I’ll tell them, Vanya, Paris clearly needs us
Like you need pliers in a steam bath.

The emigres here from the second generation
All cause confusion and even consternation.
The way they say our names they all sound unfamiliar -
Instead of "Vanya", they’d call you "Van-i-ya".

But really, Vanya, Paris clearly needs us
Like you need skis in Russian steam baths.

Me and a French girl spent some happy hours;
I count among my friends now Pierre and Jean.
I got to spit on, from the Eiffel Tower,
The heads of the untroubled Paris throng.

Believe me, Vanya, Paris clearly needs us
Like you need pliers in a steam bath.

Our culture’s spread so far you can’t avoid it -
You notice it the most when far from there.
The fact is in the Paris public toilets
There’s scribbling in Russian everywhere.

But really, Vanya, Paris clearly needs us
Like you need skis in Russian steam baths.