God, where was I last night? On my life, I don’t know,
Just the wallpaper sticks in my memory;
I’m sure Klavka was there with a girlfriend in tow -
In the kitchen we kissed, both of them and me.

In the morning they said
When I stirred into life
That I threatened the guests
And abused the host’s wife;

I stripped off, jumped and ran,
Then I yelled when I sang,
And I said: "My old man
Is a general by rank."

I ripped open my shirt and was thumping my chest
Shouting: "All of you traitors have cheated me!"
And they tell me I didn’t let anyone rest
As I played all the same chords repeatedly.

I so needed to crash
That I couldn’t drink more,
And I started to smash
Their best glass on the floor;

I poured wine on the walls,
Then a tea set I spied
Which I lobbed tray and all
Through the window outside.

No one dared say a word as they stared horrified,
Then they managed to stage a recovery;
They all piled upon me, grabbed my wrists which they tied
And then had a great time making fun of me.

My face covered in spit
They poured booze down my throat
And my belly was kicked
By some great twinkle toes.

A young widow who clung
To her man’s memory
(Though we only live once)
Showered pity on me.

In the kitchen I paled, my face battered and sore,
Then pretended that I’d behave reasonably.
"Just untie me!" I cried, "I won’t do any more!"
They untied me but still hid the forks from me.

Words can’t start to describe
How it all kicked off then -
But from where did I find
So much bodily strength?

Like a beast who’d been gored
For my final farewell
I smashed windows and doors
And the balcony fell.

God, where was I last night? I remain in the dark,
Just the wallpaper sticks in my memory;
And I’ve still got my mug with its bruises and marks -
Where can I show my face with all them on me?

If it’s not all a lie
And a third of it’s true
Then to lie down and die
Is the best I can do;

The young widow at least
Could endure it somehow -
She felt sorry for me
And I live with her now.