Hey, Vanya, look - they’re really good, those clowns;
It’s like they’re grinning ear to ear.
They’ve so much make-up on and big red mouths -
And sound like alkies, can’t you hear?

And, Vanya, isn’t that one like
Your sister’s husband when he’s tight?
No, Vanya, look - he’s such a sight,
No, look - I’m right!

Stop slagging off my sister’s husband, Zin -
With all his faults he’s family.
You wear that slap and stink of nicotine -
Watch out or you’ll get grief from me.

A bit less talk and you could make
It down the shop during the break;
What, you won’t go? For goodness sake
I’ll go; make way.

Hey, Vanya, look at those dwarves; they’re dressed
In jersey, not in serge, you see;
There’s no one who could sew like that, I’d guess,
In our Fifth Textile Factory.

But, Vanya, your friends are such scruffs -
They look like tramps with fraying cuffs
And drink so early and that stuff’s
So cheap and rough!

My friends don’t wear the latest fashions, Zin,
But keep their families okay;
And they drink crap through careful rationing -
They start first thing but they can pay.

But Zin, that bloke you used to see
From down the tyre factory
Used to drink petrol, didn’t he?
Think carefully!

Hey, Vanya, watch those little parrots - bless!
Did you see anything so cute?
And who’s that in the little cut-off vest?
Oh, Vanya, now I want one too!

So, Vanya, see if you can find
Me one like that come bonus time.
Don’t say "Get off" and "Do you mind?" -
You’re so unkind!

Hey, Zin, you really ought to leave it out -
My bonus vanished with the wind.
Who wrote those letters to my boss? Don’t shout:
"It wasn’t me!" - I read them, Zin!

And Zin that vest would never do;
It would look terrible on you
And take a bale of fabric too -
Zin, where’s the loot?

Oh, Vanya, I just love those acrobats...
That rascal’s tumbling away.
Our section manager performed like that
In our works club the other day.

But Vanya you get home at night
And veg out once you’ve had a bite;
If you’re not drunk you pick a fight -
What are you like?

I’ll snap, Zin, if you keep tormenting me;
Why can’t you just leave me alone?
All day I never get a moment free...
You’re sitting here when I get home.

And so I always want to go
Down to the shop, Zin, where I know
I’ll see my friends, for Zin I don’t
Drink on my own.

You see that girl doing gymnastics? Wow!
You’d think her legs were fixed on screws.
But at the cafe where we hang around
I’ve seen the waitress do that too.

But all those friends that you have in
Sit knitting winter hats and things,
With faces miserable as sin -
It’s maddening, Zin!

Well, Vanya, Lilka Fedoseeva,
The park cashier, is not too bad.
You seemed to have a lot to say to her
At that housewarming that we had.

But, Vanya, why fight all the time?
Let’s go to Yerevan, unwind...
Don’t say "Get off" and "Do you mind" -
You’re so unkind.