Hey, Vanya, look - theyíre really good, those clowns;
Itís like theyíre grinning ear to ear.
Theyíve so much make-up on and big red mouths -
And sound like alkies, canít you hear?
And, Vanya, isnít that one like
Your sisterís husband when heís tight?
No, Vanya, look - heís such a sight,
No, look - Iím right!
Stop slagging off my sisterís husband, Zin -
With all his faults heís family.
You wear that slap and stink of nicotine -
Watch out or youíll get grief from me.
A bit less talk and you could make
It down the shop during the break;
What, you wonít go? For goodness sake
Iíll go; make way.
Hey, Vanya, look at those dwarves; theyíre dressed
In jersey, not in serge, you see;
Thereís no one who could sew like that, Iíd guess,
In our Fifth Textile Factory.
But, Vanya, your friends are such scruffs -
They look like tramps with fraying cuffs
And drink so early and that stuffís
So cheap and rough!
My friends donít wear the latest fashions, Zin,
But keep their families okay;
And they drink crap through careful rationing -
They start first thing but they can pay.
But Zin, that bloke you used to see
From down the tyre factory
Used to drink petrol, didnít he?
Hey, Vanya, watch those little parrots - bless!
Did you see anything so cute?
And whoís that in the little cut-off vest?
Oh, Vanya, now I want one too!
So, Vanya, see if you can find
Me one like that come bonus time.
Donít say "Get off" and "Do you mind?" -
Youíre so unkind!
Hey, Zin, you really ought to leave it out -
My bonus vanished with the wind.
Who wrote those letters to my boss? Donít shout:
"It wasnít me!" - I read them, Zin!
And Zin that vest would never do;
It would look terrible on you
And take a bale of fabric too -
Zin, whereís the loot?
Oh, Vanya, I just love those acrobats...
That rascalís tumbling away.
Our section manager performed like that
In our works club the other day.
But Vanya you get home at night
And veg out once youíve had a bite;
If youíre not drunk you pick a fight -
What are you like?
Iíll snap, Zin, if you keep tormenting me;
Why canít you just leave me alone?
All day I never get a moment free...
Youíre sitting here when I get home.
And so I always want to go
Down to the shop, Zin, where I know
Iíll see my friends, for Zin I donít
Drink on my own.
You see that girl doing gymnastics? Wow!
Youíd think her legs were fixed on screws.
But at the cafe where we hang around
Iíve seen the waitress do that too.
But all those friends that you have in
Sit knitting winter hats and things,
With faces miserable as sin -
Itís maddening, Zin!
Well, Vanya, Lilka Fedoseeva,
The park cashier, is not too bad.
You seemed to have a lot to say to her
At that housewarming that we had.
But, Vanya, why fight all the time?
Letís go to Yerevan, unwind...
Donít say "Get off" and "Do you mind" -
Youíre so unkind.