From the plane we headed straight to playing,
All the chips already have been set;
Paparazzi to their oars are laying,
Taking pictures, thinking Iím upset.
But no man can ever put me down,
These reporters fuss for no reward -
Not my skill will help me win the crown:
This smart Fisher wonít stand a round
When he sees what happens on the board.
He is white - heíll rush ahead, itís clear;
He has never lost a game with white.
To E-4 heís moved his pawn. Oh, dear!
Once I saw that move - so itís all right.
What to do? I blindly feel the road
With my hands like in the woods at night...
Seems to me, the king leaps like a toad
Left and right as well as backward - forward,
And the shape of L is for the knight.
To my workshop friend Iím so grateful -
How to bid and deal he had explained.
I was stunned but it turned out later,
That a classic opening I played!
Iím alert - his menace never passes,
Yes, the chef was right - imagine if
We replace these pieces with wine glasses,
Then heíll see who is a real chief!
Now his forkís impending, harsh and mortal,
Wants to eat my queen - Iíll let him try...
Such a snack! It just demands a bottle,
But itís banned - the match is bone dry!
Tea and eggs are not in my good graces;
I am starving, but itís all they gave...
Squares grin at me with ugly faces,
I confuse these silly kings with aces
And a knight Iím taking for a knave!
Itís beginnersí luck - I am attacking,
Taking risks, Iím taking all I can...
I will win by checking and forechecking,
Heíll be down if I crown my men!
I am shilly-shally - itís a folly!
Iíve to strike a blow, not to sway...
What to use? A rook? Itís kind of early;
Maybe then a hook? Itís kind of surly,
Since it is the first game that we play.
Quashing my defense - thatís what his aim is;
And he breaks my Indian in a flash;
It reminds me vaguely of that famous
Indo-Pakistani border clash!
Started playing tricks this phony Fisher:
Jumping, whistling, twisting... What the heck!?
Wants to win my rook just for a bishop,
Heís afraid of me, a treacherous ill-wisher,
ĎCause I press three hundred on my back!
I must add more vim, he soon will splinter!
And my odds are high as all have seen...
Training hard, in chess a pawn turns into
Any piece but, mostly, a queen.
Stop your jokes, Fisher, hold your horses;
You may only break your neck, instead...
If his checking brings me heavy losses,
I can jab him with my heavy crosses,
And my knight will move - right on his head!
I assessed his slim and weakly figure,
And as soon as he announced: ďCheck!Ē
I displayed the biceps of a digger,
Hung my blazer on the chairís back.
Silence fell. The audience was waiting,
I began to rise and this he saw -
He at once forgot about mating
And this Fisher with his starry rating
Promptly said: ďOK, the gameís a draw!Ē