Taking measures of precaution,
And displaying no emotion,
With a standard English nickname Mr. William Caster Fry,
Wearing gloves all year round
Not to leave the prints around
In a Moscow guest-house there lived a foreign spy!
In the dark he started working
Through the streets and squares walking,
Clicking something with a special infra-red nocturnal zoom;
Later he would print a photo
Where objects were distorted,
Every thing we love and cherish looming ugly in the gloom!
On his base a sculptured Lenin
Looked and old shabby granny,
While the Party Central Office looked a hut in dirt and grime;
And the park where we are resting
Looked so terrible and nasty
That you certainly would take it for a landfill in its prime!
Being active and persistent,
Fry still needed an assistant;
Lone spying’s rather boring, giving you no kick, no thrill!
So a fella came in handy,
Introduced himself as Andy,
Fry would take him to a restaurant and involve him in a deal!
Andy seemed a proper figure -
Base, intelligent and niggard,
He indulged in girls and beer - in these fields he was no goose!
He was more than satisfying
For the filthy job of spying -
Anyone can fall this low if one drowns in the booze!
Fry came up with no dilation:
"Sunday start the operation!
At 10.30 catch a taxi, then this taxi you will rob.
Tie a driver with a rope,
Make him think you need a dope,
And the BBC will cover this event around the globe!"
"Here goes the second mission:
You attend the Exhibition,
Meet a man with sideburns there, he will ask you: "Wanna pee?"
You will answer: "I’ve just pissed off"
He will give yourself a pistol,
Friday evening in a suitcase bring this pistol straight to me!"
And for this you’ll get a Lexus
And a spacious home in Texas,
Lots of dough, lots of creamers, you’ll be rich as one can be!"
But this spy was unaware
That the man he tried to snare
Was a secret service captain working for the KGB!
He’s a real meanness master,
This infamous William Caster,
But this time he made an error, couldn’t play his dirty trick!
Now he spends his time in prison,
Being put there for a reason,
And in our guest-house now lives a peaceful Greek!