Dear TV program, this Saturday, While almost weeping, Kanadchikov’s resort residents Hurried up to watch TV. Instead of eating, taking a shower, Getting injected and loosing themselves, The entire crazy house family Gathered up around the screen! One rhetoric trouble maker Wrung his arms and then proclaimed That the mystery of Bermuda triangles Can’t be solved by modern science. He broke our brains to pieces, Weaved our brains waves together, And Kanadchikov’s administration Gave us all second injection! Dear editor, how about the reactor, Or about new Moon tractor? How come, entire year you frighten us with UFO, Like, they are, ignoble, still flying, Or some dogs forever barking, Or ancient ruins learned to talk? We have learned to deal with news, We are breaking saucers all year long! This we figured inside out, If our cook’s honest with us! Also, those, who are not stupid, Throw the pills out the window! Such good life! But then, Bermuda! We can’t believe! How can you do this! We did not attempt a quarrel, We have no decent leader! There’s no one really violent, That’s why no one’s there to lead! News of delirium and gossip We ca gather into the drag-nets! The enemies’ mean intrigues Won’t spoil our game. This is them, the drastic devils, boil water in a pond! All of that, I say, invented Churchill in a year 1918! Concerning news about bombs and fires We wrote a note for the press, But medical personnel arrived And fixed us up with sedatives! Those, who was especially active, Were tied up to their beds! One paranoiac was fighting back, Like wizard at sabbath. Screamed, untie the towels! You creeds, and bigots! Our hearts are so Bermoody, And Beermuted are our souls! Forty souls took turns crying! Their faces got white-hot! See! Those triangles are disturbing Piece and quiet among us! They were almost going crazy, Even those, considered nuts! Then head doctor Dr. Morgulin Said, TV was not for us! See that devil out there? He hides electrical outlet! He gives a hint to someone, Kind of, hurry up, rip off the wires! All is left to do, to get injected, And to fall and vanish At the bottom of the well Forever, like in Bermudas.                 Check the dentist, craftsman Rudik. He has radio called Grundik. At night he catches German channel, Like contra-revolutionary. He went to Germany as a merchant, But lost his mind. They brought him here. He was all worried, with stomach ache, And had a label on his leg. He ran in, quite agitated, Rocked us with his message, Said that one of our airplanes Got bogged down at the triangle! Disappeared, lost all the fuel, Piece by piece collapsed and then Two of our insane brothers Were picked up by fisher men. They survived the cataclysm, But succumbed to pessimism. They were placed inside glass prism, And brought to our hospital. So, one of them, mechanic, told us, While away from nurses, That Bermuda’s polyhedron Is Earth’s open belly button. What went on? How you survived? We attacked with questions, But the mechanic only trembled, Then proceeded to catch Z’s. Then he cried, and then he laughed, The hair stood up on his head! He was mocking us, son of a bitch! But he’s crazy! What can I say? One of former alcoholics, foul mouthed, dirty plotter Yelled, lets drink that triangle up! Lets divide it between us! He got rowdy, fell off his handle! I swear, we’ll drink it up Even if it is parallelepiped, or a circle, curse!                                 Even if idea’s crazy, do not judge momentousl. Answer us without hassle through the expert doctor, Best Regards. Date. Signature. Promptly answer us. Because If you won’t respond we’ll write to the stuff of State Lotto!
© Gulnara Elrod. Translation, 2008