I am awake, yet dream prophetic verses. I want to sleep, and swallow pills galore. No matter - I have taken bitter pills before: Organizations, institutions, persons - They致e all declared on me a total war For my disturbing peace and quiet, and For my hoarse singing filling this whole land, For my disrepute and for my renown; For being impotent to keep me down; For my old ballads that come flitting On short-wave radio from abroad, With notices attached - I think, quite fitting - "Unauthorized by author..." Oh, my God! What else? It may well be my foreign wife. I should have married Soviet - done my duty. How dare I choose a foreign way of life? And, above all, how dare I to survive? They hate me for my songs about the years When we beat bloody hell out of the Fritzes, For writing songs of dogfights and of blitzes, Not having fought, or been anywhere near. They yell that I have pinched the moon, and will Find something else again, as valuable, to steal. So dirty lies keep chasing one another. With all these blots, I値l soon be blotto, brother! No, I won稚 drink myself to death - I will Tear up or just cross off my testament and will, And cross myself - God, bear with this offender! - And go on writing songs, with all my heart and skill, - And there値l be those whom in my songs I値l damn But also those to whom I値l homage render, All those who wrote to me that I dare not surrender. And though my cup be bitter, I値l be true to them.
Sergei Roy. Translation, 1990