Remain at home, my friend, at any rate
And never leave alone your trusty wife.
Don’t forget about Cook’s cheerless fate
When he reached Austraila, sharp at five.

At five o’clock was lunch time in Australia,
So savages had hunger, as I guess.
They danced in shadow of a big azalea
And ate their yummy neighbours, what a mess!

It’s true, eventually they ate as well James Cook.
But why? Who knows, the science is mute.
I know for sure, the answer is quite simple. Look,
They were still hungry - and finished Cook!

There is another version that some dastard gook
Said "portly cock is owned by famous captain Cook.
Let’s catch the brute by means of arrow, bow and hook!"
But they mistook that cock for Cook.