We’ve been brought up to sneer at thuggery and theft,
To alcohol we all disdain habituation.
Our hallmark is respect for where controls are set,
Indifference to international relations.

Here’s our geography,
And here’s our habitat:
They’ve got their mafia...
But we don’t have one yet.

We have ballet, caviar, great manufacturing plants.
At charming shore retreats, the class is upper:
"Aeroflot", Tolstoy, some watermelons, tanks -
And various heroes cast in bronze and copper.

That said, a lot of cars
Cause woes inordinate.
They’ve got erotica -
Hell, we’ve got more than that.

By a thousand, million, billion kilowatts
The spirit rises in the souls of the people.
Every tire-jack, whale-killing ship, and God knows what
Brings us profit steeper than any steeple.

Blood in the catheter:
The many drinks we store.
They’ve got some hippies there,
But here - no thank you sir.

Why not discuss, my comrades, the capital
That Marx was chiding in his famous books?
They’ve got napalm, but we have revelries, free-for-alls,
And private, insignificant intrigues.

There, various Jims and Johns
Play with their planes and cars.
They’ve got their hymns and guns...
Yep, lower plane than ours.

Where are we headed now, whom do we envy?
The people’s voice is soaked with benzene vapor.
I’m done here, thanks. When I used the word "we",
I meant myself, of course - I’m a store director.

Everything’s censured there,
Here, all is visceral.
I’ll visit grandmother -
She lives in Israel.