I love you now Not secretly, but conspicuously. I burn down in your light, not "after", nor "before". Weeping or laughing, I love you anyway, In the past: I donít want, but in the future: I donít know. To say "I loved you" in the past tense Is even more sad than a graveyard, All the tenderness in me is winglessly hobbling about, Even though the greatest poet used to say: "I loved you, and perhaps my love still..." So we speak about what is thrown away and blossomless, And there is condescension in this compassion, As to a king who has been toppled from his throne. This is in this regret of what is gone Some desires in which imperiosity is lost, And perhaps some kind of mistrust in the words "I love you". I love you now Without measure nor waste, Now my life is worth living I wonít cut my veins! All the while, now, I donít live by the past nor do I rave about the future. Iíll ford the river and swim across To you, even if they cut off my head! With chains and weights around my feet. Just donít compel me by mistake To add "I will" to "I love you". There is bitterness in this "I will", curiously enough, A fake signature, a worm-hole And a trapdoor in store to draw back, A colorless poison at the very bottom of the glass. And for you to doubt that "I love you" now Is like a slap in the face of my honesty. I watch "The French dream" With plenty of time, Where the future is different and the past is otherwise. Iím nailed down to the pillory, Iím called out to the language barrier. Ah, the differences between the languages! Itís not a position but a collapse. But you and I will look for and find the solution. I love you even in the hard times/tenses: In the future, past and present!..
© Elisabeth ?. Translation, 2011