My next-door neighbour’s travelled everywhere,
Away prospecting for some sort of mineral.
Other folk’s concerns aren’t my affair
But somehow he gets up my nose in general.

They’ve had their windows done in silk and plush.
His lady wife goes round in robe and towel.
If I’d a wage like his, or half as much,
I’d find ore in Moscow with a trowel

It’s my belief that all his cronies lie.
He finds nowt on purpose - that’s his racket.
But all the same, his salary’s sky-high -
Make no mistake, he’s worth a bleeding packet.

At our place yesterday this neighbour’s lad
Fell against our door and knocked his forehead,
And smashed up my decanter. Well, his dad
Can pay me back the price with interest on it.

A quid to him is like a bob to me
So he can pay me three times what the cost is.
It isn’t out of spite - that’s not my way.
The only thing that interests me is justice.

I’ll give him so much gip that he’1l soon move.
He’ll be off, and what’s more, pretty briskly.
He’s stiff with loot - his income’s through the roof,
But I can barely keep myself in whiskey.