In a quiet and harmonious kingdom,
With no wars, cataclysms, or storms
A wild boar appeared, an enormous one,
Either a buffalo or a bull or an aurochs.

The king himself suffered from a bad stomach
And asthma. Just his cough caused others great fright.
Meanwhile, the huge and terrible beast
Was eating folks or dragging them off to the woods.

So the king issued three decrees at once:
The beast must be subdued, at last!
Whoever dares to do it, to do it,
Will win the princess’s hand in marriage.

And in this desparate kingdom, the minute
You enter, then crossways,
In reckless boredom, living the life of a hussar,
Was the former-best-but-out-of-favor archer.

On the castle floor there were skins and people
Singing and drinking mead... and then
Troubadours trumpeted the call from the castle
To seize the archer and bring him in.

And the king coughed out to him: I won’t
Read you a lecture on morals, youth.
If you’re victorious over this monster tomorrow,
You’ll receive the hand of the princess.

But the archer says: What sort of reward is that?
Roll me out a barrel of port instead!
I’ve got no use for a princess in any case -
I’ll beat the monster for you anyway.

The king: You’ll take the princess-period!
If you don’t, I’ll toss you in jail just like that!
She’s the king’s daughter after all!
The archer: Even if you kill me, I won’t!

And while the king was wrangling with the archer thus
Almost all the women and hens were eaten up,
And the buffalo or aurochs sort of thing
Was hanging around the castle wall.

The king was powerless: the archer
Got his port, captured the monster and beat it...
Thus the former-best-but-out-of-favor archer
Insulted the princess and the king.