Hey, boys, don’t you sit there in silence.
Let your girlfriends go before you puke!
Remember when to the Hawaiian Islands
The ship arrived, led by Captain Cook.

On those beautiful Hawaiian Islands
Following their healthy appetite,
Right beneath a palm tree the Hawaiians
Devoured each other every night.

Why did the savages eat Captain Cook?
You will not find an honest answer in a book.
To me, that incident was just a fluke:
They had the munchies and ate Captain Cook.

Meanwhile, their chieftain, named "Dirty Duke,
I Screamed that the ship there had a tasty cook!
Historians agree: a blunder happened!
The cook they wanted... but ate the captain!

And then there was very little talking.
They climbed aboard, and without knocking,
They pushed the door in, took a closer look,
With clubs in hands... Bye-bye, Captain Cook!

Another explanation is, in fact,
That he was eaten out of respect!
There was a shaman in the! tribe, named "Dirty Crook,"
Hawaiian savages - he kept them on a hook!

"Whoever eats James Cook," the shaman raved,
"He will become then just as gentle, smart, and brave!"
Somebody caught the Captain in a nook
Then cast a stone: and no more Cook!

But now the savages are feeling low:
Breaking their spears, breaking their bows.
Indeed, after his qualities they took.
All their nasty ways they have forsook!
And can’t forgive themselves for eating Cook!"