Mishka Shifman is a brainiac
And he has a vision.
"What do we have here?" he says,
"Other than television?"

"Watching the Sopot Festival1",
Is dull beyond belief
While whoever feels like it
Leaves for Tel Aviv!"

On the road to Mnevniki2
Mishka makes an admission:
"I caught Golda Meir
In the radio transmission..."

And he told me things...
Of beauty beyond belief...
That I nearly fell into
the clutches of Tel Aviv.

So, at first I wasn’t drunk,
I objected fully;
I said, "Moshe Dayan
Is a one-eyed bully,

A true pharaoh
An aggressive beast,
And where there is aggression
That’s no place for me."

Mishka at once got excited -
After a liter of drinking.
He said, "But, look -
They booted us from Egypt!

Such humiliation,
Is a heavy price
I want to wash away the shame
From the birth of Christ!"

Mishka grabbed me by the chest,
Yelling, "I need company!
We’re not some acquaintances -
We are more like family.

Let’s go on pilgrimage,
Quick - we better leave!
Look, screw Mneviki!
We’re going to Tel Aviv!"

I said "I am all yours.
It’s the end of discussion,
But there’s one catch for us:
My passport says I’m Russian.

I only have Russians in my kin
My great grandfather was Samarian
If anyone else made it in
It could only be a Tartarian."

Mishka Shifman is one of a kind,
He’s not one for hesitation:
He has only Jews
In every generation.

His granddad - an ex-traitor-doc3,
Now an old paralytic...
And all I have are generations --
All anti-semitic.

Mishka is a doctor by trade. Suddenly, he grew quieter.
In Israel there are hoards of them.
Gynecologists alone -
They’re a dime a dozen there.

Dentists can’t get in because
Too many are seeking entry.
Where d’you find enough teeth for all of them?
In other words - unemployment!

 
 
 
 

Mishka screams out, "To hell with it!
Visa, or the grave!
Let’s go, Kolya, we have to catch
Those Mediterranean waves!"

Seeing Mishka’s blues,
And when down, he’s a menace,
I took another swig of booze
And said "OK. Sure, let us!"

Hundred people wait in line.
Snaking out the door.
There, they told Mishka "denied"
But to me, "approved, sir"

He yelled, "There must be a mistake!
Between the two of us, I’m the Jew!"
And they said, "Tough luck, kid!
Get lost. We’re done with you!"

Mishka’s tormented by the question,
Who’s his secret enemy?
But the answer is quite simple,
Obviously and sensibly:

I’m all good (knock on wood);
While Mishka drinks his poison.
And he snipes he couldn’t leave -
Item Five’s the reason4.