Mishka Shifman is a brainiac And he has a vision. "What do we have here?" he says, "Other than television?" "Watching the Sopot Festival1, Is like watching paint dry While whoever wants to go To Israel can fly!" Mishka also told me On the road to Mnevniki2: "I caught Golda Meir On the radio receiver..." And he told me things of Beauty beyond belief - That I nearly found myself In the clutches of Tel Aviv. So, at first I wasn’t drunk, I objected considerably; I said, "Moshe Dayan Is a one-eyed SOB" A true pharaoh An aggressive beast, And where there is aggression That’s no place for me." Mishka at once got excited - After a liter of drinking. He said, "But, look - They exiled us from Egypt! Such humiliation, Is a heavy price I want to wash away the shame From the birth of Christ!" Mishka grabbed me by the chest, Yelling, "I need company! "We’re not some acquaintances - We are more like family" Let’s go on pilgrimage, Soon we better leave! Look, screw Mneviki! We’re going to Tel Aviv! I said "I am all yours. After all, you saved me at the port But there’s one catch I’m Russian by passport. I only have Russians in my family My great grandfather was Samarian If anyone got up in there It could only be a Tartarian." Mishka Shifman is a different case, There’s no room for hesitation: He has only pure Jews In every generation. His granddad - an ex-traitor-doc3, Now an old paralytic... And all I have are generations - All of them antisemitic. Mishka is a doctor. Suddenly, he went quiet. In Israel there are hoards of them. Gynecologists alone - Are a dime a dozen there. Dentists can’t get in because - Too many are seeking entry. Where d’you find teeth for all of them? In other words, unemployment!         Mishka screams out, "To hell with it! Visa, or the grave! Let’s go, Kolya, we have to catch Those Israeli waves." Seeing Mishka’s blues, And when pained, he’s a menace, I took another gulp of booze And said "OK. Let us!" Hundred people wait inside Long line out the door. There, they told Mishka "denied" But to me, "go ahead, sir" He yelled, "There must be a mistake! Between the two of us, I’m the Jew!" And they said, "Tough luck, kid! Get lost. We’re done with you!" Mishka’s tormented by the riddle, Who’s his secret enemy? But the answer is quite simple, Obviously and sensibly: I’m all fine (knock on wood); Mishka drinks his poison. And he claims he couldn’t leave And Item Five’s the reason4.
1 wikipedia: Sopot International Song Festival
2 Mnevniki is a village near Moscow
3 wikipedia: Doctors plot
4 Item No. 5 on the Soviet passport denoted one’s nationality, including the nationality of "Jewish".
© ?. Translation, 2017