I am the lightest drinker of all drinking men.
In me I have great moral power.
And our family, consisting of sobers and drunks,
Handing me a list of several sheets,
Prepared me for a trip to the city.

So I could bring a mink coat
for my daughter-in-law,
A soluble coffee for my mother and grandmother,
A carpet for two brides,
black caviar for my son-in-law,
For my father-in-law - some Armenian cognac.

I’m full of wounds and bruises, I’m scared a bit
To forget what I should buy for them in order.
I memorized the list of things by heart,
And sewed up the dough into the lining.

So, two coats for my brother,
some cologne for sister’s husband,
Father-in-law said to get anything they sell.
A carpet for two brides,
beluga caviar for son-in-law,
And a couple of bottles for my sister.

I poked at people’s backs, stepped on their feet,
I strode right at shirts and raincoats,
So the enemies couldn’t get their hands on my list,
I swallowed it without any fear.

I can recall, my brother wants a coat,
anything for my grandma,
Father-in-law wants some Yerevan vodka,
A carpet for two sisters,
too, a mink for my brother-in-law,
For my sister - anything, but decent and pretty.

Why should I return empty-handed back home?
But so, I came across the merchandise.
"Your currency, comrade?" they asked me, a fool,
"It can’t be!" I say. "Not dollars."

Some soluble tobacco for me,
no caviar for my son-in-law,
A cologne for my father-in-law for hangover.
Anything for those two brides,
wine for my sister’s mate,
As for me - the yellow in these plates.

I can’t remember the pounds, the sterlings of words,
Overwhelmed by a terrible confusion.
Why did I have to shed my blood?
Why in the world did I eat that list?
Why did I sew the rubles into the lining?

But still, I have to get that coat,
coffee for my son-in-law.
Horseradish for my father-in-law, beer for my grandfather.
Plus I should buy some cognac,
a soluble daughter-in-law,
As for my brother-he could get along without silver.