I lived with my mom and daddy
On Arbat, I wish here I can live like that,
But right now I’m in medical care,
All in bandages, lying in bed.

What’s fame to us? Who’s Klava to us?
The nurse and outdoors, while we’re in bed.
On the right my neighbor has died already,
While on the left-well, not yet.

And one day, my neighbor, all burning,
The one on the left and who would nag,
Suddenly said, "Listen, buddy,
You know, you don’t have a leg."

Oh, my God, it can’t be, fellows,
Maybe he was joking. Hey!
"We will only cut your toes, lad."
That’s what the doctor used to say.

But the neighbor on my right side,
Always laughed and fooled around,
Used to sleepwalk in the night,
Spoke of my leg aloud.

Used to torture me at times:
"You’ll never walk or see your wife,
Just look at yourself in the mirror,
You only have a bit of life..."

Well, if I wasn’t crippled,
I’d get up and walk the road,
As for the son of a bitch on the left -
I’d simply cut his throat.

I used to beg the good nurse Klava
To show me how I look right now,
If the neighbor on the right was alive,
He’d tell me the truth I need to know.