Dear telecasting!
Saturday, almost crying,
The whole asylum (Kanatchikova dacha1)
Towards the TV set was rushing, -
Not to wash up, not to eat, but instead
To have an injection and forget,
The whole asylum gone mad
And gathered by the TV screen.

Talking, while wringing hands,
Blubber mouth and firebrand
About impotence of the science
To resolved Bermuda mysteries, -

All my brains I’ve screwed to pieces,
Twisted all my convolutions into a knot -
And asylum authorities
Giving us a second shot.

Dear editor!
Maybe, better - about reactor?!
About favorite moon tractor?
After all, one can’t! - a whole year:
Either scare us with flying saucers - they
Still flying sneaky, they would say;
Or your dogs barking every day,
Or the ruins - talking queer!

We became skillful in someways:
A whole year we brake the plates -
On those plates a dog we ate2,
If the cook doesn’t lie to us today.

And medications the whole piles -
Who is not a fool, into the pen.
This is life! And suddenly - Bermuda isles!
Well, you see! You can’t do this, men!

We didn’t create a scene -
We were short of a leader, I mean:
We don’t have enough of real larrikin -
Well, there are no chieftains.
But for intrigues and ravings
We have nets and drug nets -
Won’t spoil our daily praying
Evil intrigues of enemies!

It’s their skinny devils
Bermuddied3 water in the stream,
This all invented good old Churchill
In the nineteen eighteen!

We, about blasts and fires
Wrote the statement for the TASS...
Then the orderlies rushed in -
And quickly immobilized us.

Those, who were the cocky lads,
They tied them quickly to the bedheads -
Mouth foaming paranoid raving mad
Like a warlock on Sabbath crawl:
"Untie the towels, you bloody sods!
Unbelievers, bigots!
It’s so bernauseous3 on our hearts
And berdrearily3 in our souls!"

Forty souls take turns to howl -
White like hot metal, no less, -
That’s how bad it’s worrying us all
This triangular business!

Everyone, almost gone mad, because of this -
Even those, who were already mad, -
And then head-shrink Margulis
Banned to watch the TV set.

There he is, in the window looms, the snake -
Hiding the plug behind his back and waits, -
He gave a signal to someone - it means straight away,
The paramedic will rip out the cable from TV.
All is left for us - the shot, hurts like hell -
And to fall down the well,
And disappear at the bottom of the well,
Like in Bermuda, for eternity.

Well, tomorrow the kids will ask, I suppose,
In the morning, while visiting us:
"Dads, what did they said, those
Doctors to be candidates?"

We will reveal to our kids without fear
The truth - for they do care:
"Amazing is so near -
But it’s forbidden, here!"

There goes home-based dentist Rudik4 -
He has radio-receiver "Grundig", -
By nights he radio keeps tuning -
West Germany he listens, traitor and a foe.
There he was a fashion merchant, selling, buying
And completely lost his mind, -
He got here in terrible bind
With a number on his toe.

He came running, extremely wind up, -
With this news we all were shocked,
As if - our scientific liner
In the triangle it got bogged;

Disappeared, used all the fuel, rather,
Its all fell apart, -
Two of our crazy brothers
The fisherman picked up.

Those, who survived in cataclysm,
Living in a pessimism, -
Yesterday they were in a glass prism
Brought to our asylum both -
And one of them, mechanic,
Told us, when he run away from nannies,
That Bermuda’s polyhedron -
It’s exposed belly button of the Earth.

"What happened there? how you were saved?" -
Everyone thrust on and pestered him, -
But mechanic only shake
And bummed stubs kept smoking.

He either laughed or cried,
Or getting prickly like a hedgehog. -
He was mocking us, that guy, -
What can one do - he is mad dog!

A former alcoholic jumped in,
Foul-mouthed and seditious fiend:
"The triangle we must drink!
Let’s split it three ways!5 Common, guys!
He got warmed up - and the words start pouring:
"The triangle, we will drink it! -
Be it a parallelepiped,
Be it a circle, horny lice!"

Hitting painfully our souls each day
"Voices" from thousand of miles, -
Why don’t we jam the "Voice of USA"6,
Why don’t we put more pressure on "Israel".

With all their hostile essence
They undermine and harm us everywhere -
They feed us, make us drink the berfeculence
About mystery bloody square!

Lecturers from the TV show!
Those, who one way or another
Talking about setbacks, brother
And making nervous the folks!
We are doomed, take all of us, -
The triangle, all of you, scholars,
Will turn into lunatics, at once,
Well, and us - vice versa, in to nerds.

Though - it’s a crazy idea, in a way,
Do not rush with the decision.
Give us reply without delay
Through our head physician!

Sincerely Yours... Date. Signed.
Do reply to us, or else,
If you don’t answer, we do mind
We will write to"Sport-lotto" ourselfs!