I am the most non-drinker from all our guys:
I do have a lot of moral strength, -
And by most voices our family decides,
To give me eight pages list of what to buy,
To our capital I was sent.

To my son and his wife both
I have to bring each a fur coat,
Instant coffee cans for my brother and his girlfriend,
My brothers wifes rugs for the floor,
Black caviar to son in law,
My wife’s father something liquid, armenian brand.

I am wounded, shell-shocked and a little afraid
To forget, what and order of buying, -
The list of the things I memorised all the way,
And I sewed the cash in a lining.

Fur coats for my bro, I assume,
sister’s husband needs perfume,
Father in law said: "Comon, take, what can be found!"
To brothers wifes, rugs for the floor,
A hare caviar for son in law,
To Godfather, couple litres of vodka, let him drown!

I run into some backs, I stepped on some toes,
Chest first I walked towards raincoats and shirts.
So, the list of the things didn’t end up with foes,
I swallowed it, my throat still hurts.

My bro wants a fur, I think,
Godfather and friend, everything,
Father in law, Yerevan bottled vodka for a fair price,
My brothers wifes, rugs, that’s all,
my son in law a woman’s hole,
And sister, she doesn’t care, as long as it’s nice!

What am I to do, go back with empty hand?!
And here I’m, found some goods at last.
What kind of currency you want to spend?
"Don’t worry, I said, it’s not dollars!"

I want instant terry towel,
son will die without caviar,
For my in law, give us hangover perfume, I say!
Two sisters in law, they’ll be fine,
sister’s hubby, he’ll get wine,
Well, and me, this yellow stuff in the plate!

I forgot the words about pounds and sterlings,
Struck by a terrible puzzle, I froze:
Why did I spill my blood then, while getting things,
Why did I eat the eight pages shopping list,
Why do I need the roubles in my coat?!

After all, how to get a fur,
coffee with a fur for son in law?
Prick, to in law, beer for godfather is fine,
Cognac in feathers I’m looking for
or instant daughter in law.
Well, and the brother will get by with a moonshine!