Excitement, thrills are gone, and everything looks dull, This boredom forces me to meet the maker. A balcony collapse, a bus to smash my skull, That would be mighty nice, a real shaker! But at last! I have chased down my luck - God’s my witness - I was having kittens. Thirty tons of a dump trailer truck Crushed all bones in my body to pieces! So I’m lying on my back - Plastered artfully. Every bone that I cracked Was packed carefully: Independently, With tenacity: Saves integrity, Full capacity! I grieve for you, your life is tedious and grim, No iron hits your skull all of a sudden. It’s such a pleasure - plaster covers every limb, It’s such a joy - a serious concussion! There’s a ponderous plate on my chest, And my arms are both covered with armor. I am itching to yell "Bring a horse for my quest!" And to ride out the hospital parlor! Now I’m lying on my back - Plastered artfully. Every bone that I cracked Was packed carefully: Independently, With tenacity: Saves integrity, Full capacity! I have to say with grief, the moment was quite brief: The dump truck hit me, and I lost my senses. The new and odd impressions brought me some relief, But then a year in blackout - pretty senseless. Many thanks to the staff, it feels right: All is fixed by the cables and pullies. And I swear to you, sometimes at night, I do feel like an astronaut, truly! Now I’m lying on my back - Plastered artfully. Every bone that I cracked Was packed carefully: Independently, With tenacity: Saves integrity, Full capacity! My senses are all blocked, the pain’s my only foe, Alas, we are the ones who harm our feelings. But I feel like a child, I’m swaddled head to toe, Surrounded by the love of human beings! I’ve been influenced by my night nurse: I develop my empathy faster. And I swear, ’till my last days on earth I would stay here, a hostage of plaster! Now I’m lying on my back - Plastered artfully. Every bone that I cracked Was packed carefully: Independently, With tenacity: Saves integrity, Full capacity! I wish I didn’t have my former dreams again: They’re like a razor blade without a handle; For in my dreams I throw my plaster chains away And yearn for bullfights, poetry and candles. O my plaster, my armor, my plate! A defense from a sharp-toothed opponent. But one thing still depresses of late: For I can’t scratch myself at the moment. Now I’m lying on my back - Plastered artfully. Every bone that I cracked Was packed carefully: Independently, With tenacity: Saves integrity, Full capacity! No plans to doff the cast, though I returned to health. My arms are like two tusks - it’s hardly stressing, My legs became quite thin - I couldn’t care less, For I look bigger, and I look impressive! I am walking around in a cast, Like an elephant - thick-skinned, impassive. I am crushing all heels as I pass, It’s convenient for me to be massive! Now I’m lying on my back - Plastered artfully. Every bone that I cracked Was packed carefully: Independently, With tenacity: Saves integrity, Full capacity!
© Kirill Tolmachev. Translation, 2023