Oh, Ványa, dear, Iím strolling through the streets of Paris. All what I witness, all what I notice Iím jotting in my notebook, like a true beholder, to print a pamphlet when I get older. About how, Vanya, we are needed here in Paris as much as one needs pliers when one bathes. The Russian emigrants are second generation, with them itís endless misinterpretations. They mispronounce a lot, like every name thatís given, and you, my Vanya, would be called Evan. So mostly, Vanya, we are needed here in Paris as much as you need skis when you are bathing. I met a French girl and Iím mad about her. Both Pierre and Jean became my closest friends. And Iíve already climbed the Eiffel Tower so I could spit on unsuspecting heads! Iíll tell you, Vanya, we are needed here in Paris as much as one needs pliers when one bathes. Our cultural expansion on this planet becomes apparent when youíre far away. I saw in Paris, in a public toilet, the words inscribed that only Russians say. So mostly, Vanya, we are needed here in Paris as much as you need skis when you are bathing.
© Kirill Tolmachev. Translation, 2023