I got paid as a seventh grade plumber -
Lots of cash that I spent all at once.
Every paycheck was not a small number,
Plus a bonus for every three months.

Drinking always involves heavy spending,
For a man got to have something else.
So, besides a betrothed in Penza,
I had two pretty Muscovite babes.

Mail and parcels would travel to Penza,
And then wine and myself to my molls.
Every evening there’s nothing but penance,
All night long there are torturous tolls.

I could see that my health was declining,
There were problems at work on all fronts.
I did not have the strength for surviving,
And a bonus for every three months.

I’ve got wrinkles and welts on my kisser.
So, I told them: enough is enough!
Go to hell, it’s my health that I’m missing.
Find yourself someone silly and buff!

I feel better than I’ve felt in ages:
Would be great if you’d see me by chance:
I’m the only one drinking my wages,
And a bonus for every three months!